Talking about a nuptial agreement, whether before or after marriage, can feel awkward, even taboo. But, with the right approach, it can be a constructive and empowering conversation that protects relationships and preserves family wealth. As family lawyers, we have seen how early, honest discussions can prevent future conflict and strengthen trust.
Here are some practical tips for approaching these conversations, whether you’re speaking with your partner or helping your children navigate this topic with their future spouse.
Talking to Your Fiancé or Spouse About a Nuptial Agreement
1. Start Early Before Emotions Run High
The best time to raise the topic is well before the wedding or any major financial event. This gives both parties time to reflect, seek advice, and avoid feeling pressured.
2. Frame It as Planning, Not Distrust
Use analogies:
“Just like a will or life insurance, this is about planning for the future, not because we expect the worst, but because we want to be prepared.”
3. Be Honest About Your Intentions
Explain why the agreement matters to you:
- Protecting family assets or a business
- Ensuring clarity and fairness
- Avoiding future disputes
4. Make It a Joint Process
Emphasise that this is not one-sided. Both parties should have:
- Independent legal advice
- Full financial disclosure
- A say in the terms
5. Use a Professional Facilitator
Sometimes, using collaboratively trained solicitors or mediators can help keep the conversation focused.
Helping Your Children Talk About Nuptial Agreements
If you’re a parent gifting wealth to your child, whether a house deposit, business capital, or early inheritance, it’s natural to want to protect that gift. But how do you raise the topic without causing tension?
1. Be Transparent About Your Intentions
Let your child know:
“We’re giving you this gift because we love and support you. But we also want to make sure it stays with you, no matter what happens in life.”
2. Normalise the Conversation
Explain that nuptial agreements are common in wealth planning, especially when family businesses or trusts are involved.
3. Offer Support, Not Pressure
Encourage your child to:
- Speak to a solicitor
- Discuss the agreement with their partner early
- View it as a mutual protection tool
You might say:
“We’d like to help you have this conversation with your partner. We can even help arrange a meeting with a family lawyer to guide you both.”
4. Lead by Example
If you’ve used a nuptial agreement yourself, share your experience. It helps remove stigma and shows that it’s a responsible, forward-thinking step.
Final Thoughts
Nuptial agreements aren’t about mistrust—they’re about clarity, fairness, and protecting what matters most. Whether you’re entering a marriage, supporting your children, or advising clients, open and respectful conversations are the key to making these agreements work.
If you or your family would like guidance on how to approach these discussions, we’re here to help.
How can we help?
Emma Davies is a Partner in our Family Law team, which is ranked in Tier One in the independently researched publication, The Legal 500.
Emma specialises in divorce and financial settlements, which involve complex issues and substantial assets. She also advises on pre- and post-nuptial agreements, cohabitation agreements and separation agreements, along with private law Children Act disputes. Emma is a qualified collaborative law and Resolution Together practitioner.
If you need further advice on the subjects discussed above, please contact us and we will be happy to discuss your circumstances in more detail and give you more information about the services that our family law solicitors can provide, along with details of our hourly rates and fixed fee services.
For more information or advice, please call Emma or another member of our team in Derby, Leicester or Nottingham on 0800 024 1976 or contact us via our online form.
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