Q: How long does the ADR process take?

Speed is one of ADR’s biggest advantages. Most family mediation cases are completed within 4-8 sessions spread over 2-4 months, with each session lasting 1-2 hours. Collaborative law takes 3-6 months, depending on complexity, involving 4-6 four-way meetings plus preparation time. Resolution Together typically resolves in 2-4 months. Compare this to contested court cases that routinely take 12-18 months and sometimes stretch beyond two years when there are appeals or complex financial disclosure battles. With ADR, you’re making decisions on your schedule, not waiting months between court hearings that last just 15 minutes.

Q: What if my partner refuses to try ADR?

This is more common than you’d think, but we’re very successful at persuading reluctant partners. We can explain the benefits directly to them or their solicitor – the cost savings alone usually convince them. Many people refuse initially because they think it means giving up their legal rights, but that’s not true. Courts now expect separating couples to try ADR first (called a “MIAM” – Mediation Information Assessment Meeting), and judges often ask why you didn’t attempt it before allowing expensive court proceedings. We can also highlight that ADR gives them more control over outcomes than having a stranger in a wig make decisions about their family. Sometimes we suggest starting with just one information session to see how it feels.

Q: What if there's domestic violence involved?

Safety always comes first, and face-to-face ADR isn’t appropriate where there’s been domestic abuse or intimidation. However, we have modified processes that can work in some situations. “Shuttle mediation” keeps you in separate rooms with the mediator moving between you. We can also arrange staggered arrival times, separate entrances, and have support people present. For collaborative law, we can include domestic abuse specialists on the team and have very structured meetings with clear ground rules. In some cases, we recommend court proceedings for protection orders first, then ADR for ongoing arrangements once safety measures are in place. We never pressure anyone into ADR if they don’t feel safe.

Q: Is our family situation too complicated for ADR?

We’ve successfully used ADR for incredibly complex situations – international families with assets in multiple countries, families with special needs children requiring ongoing care arrangements, blended families with children from previous relationships, military families dealing with deployment issues, and families running complex business empires together. ADR is flexible enough to address any family situation. If standard court processes seem inadequate for your unique circumstances, ADR might be your best option because it allows creative, tailored solutions that court templates simply can’t provide.

Question 1

How long does the ADR process take?

Accepted Answer

Speed is one of ADR&#8217;s biggest advantages. Most family mediation cases are completed within 4-8 sessions spread over 2-4 months, with each session lasting 1-2 hours. Collaborative law takes 3-6 months, depending on complexity, involving 4-6 four-way meetings plus preparation time. Resolution Together typically resolves in 2-4 months.
Compare this to contested court cases that routinely take 12-18 months and sometimes stretch beyond two years when there are appeals or complex financial disclosure battles.
With ADR, you&#8217;re making decisions on your schedule, not waiting months between court hearings that last just 15 minutes.

Question 2

What if my partner refuses to try ADR?

Accepted Answer

This is more common than you&#8217;d think, but we&#8217;re very successful at persuading reluctant partners. We can explain the benefits directly to them or their solicitor &#8211; the cost savings alone usually convince them. Many people refuse initially because they think it means giving up their legal rights, but that&#8217;s not true. Courts now expect separating couples to try ADR first (called a &#8220;MIAM&#8221; &#8211; Mediation Information Assessment Meeting), and judges often ask why you didn&#8217;t attempt it before allowing expensive court proceedings.
We can also highlight that ADR gives them more control over outcomes than having a stranger in a wig make decisions about their family. Sometimes we suggest starting with just one information session to see how it feels.

Question 3

Is ADR legally binding?

Accepted Answer

Absolutely. The discussions during ADR are confidential and &#8220;without prejudice&#8221; (can&#8217;t be used against you in court later), but once you reach agreements, we draft them into legally binding consent orders that are approved by the court. These have the same legal weight as orders imposed by a judge after a trial. The difference is that you both helped create the solution, so you&#8217;re more likely to follow it willingly.
We can also build in review mechanisms for changing circumstances, such as children&#8217;s needs evolving or income changes, making the agreements more flexible and durable than rigid court orders.

Question 4

What if there's domestic violence involved?

Accepted Answer

Safety always comes first, and face-to-face ADR isn&#8217;t appropriate where there&#8217;s been domestic abuse or intimidation. However, we have modified processes that can work in some situations. &#8220;Shuttle mediation&#8221; keeps you in separate rooms with the mediator moving between you. We can also arrange staggered arrival times, separate entrances, and have support people present. For collaborative law, we can include domestic abuse specialists on the team and have very structured meetings with clear ground rules.
In some cases, we recommend court proceedings for protection orders first, then ADR for ongoing arrangements once safety measures are in place. We never pressure anyone into ADR if they don&#8217;t feel safe.

Question 5

Can ADR handle complex financial cases?

Accepted Answer

Yes, we regularly use ADR for high-net-worth divorces and complex cases. We&#8217;ve mediated settlements involving multi-million pound businesses, international property portfolios, offshore trusts, complex pension arrangements, and professional practices. ADR is often better for complex cases because you get unlimited time to explore creative solutions &#8211; courts are under huge time pressure and prefer simple, standard orders.
In ADR, we can bring in specialist valuers, tax advisors, and financial planners to help craft bespoke solutions. For instance, we&#8217;ve helped couples restructure businesses to protect jobs while giving both parties fair value, or created phased buyout arrangements that work better than forced immediate sales.

Question 6

What happens to the children during ADR?

Accepted Answer

ADR is far less traumatic for children than court proceedings. They don&#8217;t have to give evidence, meet with court welfare officers, or watch their parents fighting in public. The cooperative atmosphere of ADR shows children that their parents can still work together for the family&#8217;s benefit, which is crucial for their long-term emotional well-being. We often involve child specialists in the process &#8211; not to quiz the children, but to help parents understand child development and create age-appropriate arrangements. Children benefit enormously from arrangements their parents jointly created because both parents feel invested in making them work, leading to less conflict and better compliance long-term.

Question 7

What if we try ADR but can't reach agreement?

Accepted Answer

About 85% of our ADR cases reach complete agreement, but partial agreements are still valuable. If you resolve 80% of issues through ADR, you only need court help with the remaining 20%, dramatically reducing time and costs. Nothing said in ADR can be used against you in court later, so you haven&#8217;t weakened your legal position by trying. Often, couples who can&#8217;t agree on everything initially come back to ADR months later when emotions have cooled. The collaborative law process includes an agreement that lawyers can&#8217;t represent you in court later, encouraging everyone to work harder at finding solutions, but you can still go to court with different lawyers if needed.

Question 8

How do we know the agreements will work in practice?

Accepted Answer

ADR agreements are more likely to work than court orders because you both helped create them and understand the reasoning behind each decision. We build in practical details that courts often miss &#8211; like exactly how handovers will work, who pays for school uniforms, or how to handle children&#8217;s activities. We also include review mechanisms for major life changes and dispute resolution procedures for minor disagreements.
Our experience shows that when parents feel heard and their concerns are addressed in the agreement, they&#8217;re much more committed to making arrangements work. Court-imposed orders often feel arbitrary and unfair to at least one parent, leading to ongoing conflict and repeated court applications.

Question 9

Is our family situation too complicated for ADR?

Accepted Answer

We&#8217;ve successfully used ADR for incredibly complex situations &#8211; international families with assets in multiple countries, families with special needs children requiring ongoing care arrangements, blended families with children from previous relationships, military families dealing with deployment issues, and families running complex business empires together. ADR is flexible enough to address any family situation.
If standard court processes seem inadequate for your unique circumstances, ADR might be your best option because it allows creative, tailored solutions that court templates simply can&#8217;t provide.

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