It’s a moment no one ever wants to experience—finding out your partner or spouse is having an affair. Whether it’s a whispered confession, a suspicious message, or, as in the now-infamous case of Mr. Byron, being caught on a jumbotron at a Coldplay concert, the discovery can feel like the ground has shifted beneath your feet.
At Nelsons, we understand how emotionally devastating infidelity can be. But once the initial shock subsides, many people are left wondering: What happens next? Here’s what you need to know about your legal options and rights under UK family law.
1. First, Take a Breath
Before diving into legal proceedings, it’s important to prioritise your emotional wellbeing. Affairs can trigger a range of emotions—anger, grief, confusion, and betrayal. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist. You don’t have to go through this alone.
2. Does Adultery Matter Legally in the UK?
Since the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022 under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, you no longer need to prove adultery or blame to get a divorce. This means:
- You can apply for a divorce without citing your partner’s or spouse’s affair.
- The court does not consider adultery when dividing finances or deciding child arrangements—unless the behaviour has had a direct financial or safeguarding impact
So while the emotional betrayal is real, the legal system focuses on practical outcomes, not moral judgments.
3. What About Financial Settlements?
Infidelity rarely affects how assets are divided. The court’s goal is to ensure a fair outcome, considering:
- The length of the marriage
- The needs of any children
- Each party’s income, earning capacity and financial needs
- The standard of living during the marriage
- The contributions (financial and non-financial) of each party
- The duration of the marriage
However, if the affair has led to reckless spending or financial hardship, it may be relevant in negotiations. Infidelity could be relevant if:
- One partner spent marital funds on the affair (e.g. gifts, holidays, rent)
- The affair caused financial hardship to the other partner
- The cheating partner is now cohabiting, which may affect their financial needs
Spousal maintenance is awarded based on need, not conduct. A cheating spouse can still receive maintenance if they lack sufficient income,However, if they remarry, they lose the right to claim spousal maintenance.
4. Child Arrangements and Custody
The court’s priority is always the best interests of the child. An affair, in itself, doesn’t make someone an unfit parent. But if the new relationship introduces risks (e.g., instability, neglect), it could influence custody decisions
- Infidelity alone does not disqualify a parent from having custody or contact.
- The court will only consider the affair if it directly impacts the child’s welfare—for example, if the new partner poses a risk or the home environment becomes unstable.
5. Should You Stay or Go?
This is a deeply personal decision. Some couples choose to work through the betrayal with counselling. Others decide that trust cannot be rebuilt. Either way, it’s wise to:
- Document everything (messages, emails, financial records)
- Seek legal advice early to understand your rights
- Avoid confrontation, especially in front of children
6. The Mr. Byron Effect: When Private Affairs Go Public
The recent viral moment involving Astronomer CEO Andy Byron—caught on camera in an intimate moment with a colleague—has sparked global conversation. While the internet speculates, the legal implications remain grounded: unless the affair affects workplace conduct or breaches contractual obligations, it’s largely a personal matter.
But for families, the fallout can be very real. If your partner’s affair has become public, it may add pressure to act quickly. Don’t rush. Take time to understand your legal position and make informed decisions.
7. How We Can Help
At Nelsons, our family law team offers compassionate, confidential advice tailored to your situation. Whether you’re considering separation, need help with financial arrangements, or want to protect your children’s wellbeing, we’re here to guide you every step of the way.
Need to talk? Contact us today for an initial consultation. You don’t have to face this alone.
How Nelsons Can Help
Melanie Theakstone is a Paralegal in our Family team, supporting them on all aspects of family and children law, including Parental Responsibility and child arrangements.
For advice on or further information in relation to the subjects discussed in this article, please contact Melanie or a member of our team in Derby, Leicester, or Nottingham on 0800 024 1976 or via our online form.
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