It is painful to see a marriage end in divorce, let alone to experience it. The situation is intensified when children are involved in the equation. Whether it is your own divorce or the separation of a family member or family friend, how do you explain the concept of divorce to children?
At Nelsons, we often simplify complex legal statutes to make them easier for our clients to understand, and the same goes for helping our clients explain the concept of divorce to children. It is a difficult time as the children are at their most vulnerable, often feeling hurt and insecure. Whether it is explaining divorce to a 3 year old, a 10 year old, or a teenager, it is never easy, especially when it’s your own divorce. Here we have compiled some advice to help explain divorce to children.
Explaining divorce to children
Act like a team
Ensure that there is a united front. Make sure everyone is present when you explain divorce to children.
Children must learn that their parents cannot stay together, so acting as a team is important to reduce any anxiety in the children, and will also soften the blow for them to see that you can get along for them.
Stress the love
Explain that the divorce or separation does not change the relationship between you and your child. Remind your children repeatedly how much you both love them. As hard as it may be during a divorce or separation, talk respectively to the other parent, in front of, and to the children.
Talking positively about the other are the memories you want your children to have.
Don’t blame
The focus should always be on the children. This is a time when you need to put your hurt feelings aside, regardless of what has led to the divorce or separation. Any negative statement or attitude about the other parent throws the children in the middle and is seen as a put down to the child.
Explain that it’s not their fault
Explain to them that the divorce or separation is not their fault. Provide reassurance and lots of it. A strong fear of how life is going to change will hit them. Assure them of your love for them and how that will never change.
Make sure it is clear to them that none of this is their fault.
Focus on things that won’t change
Reassure the areas of their life that will not change, such as staying at the same school, or still being able to visit and spend time with extended family members. It is important that they feel safe and happy after the divorce, so reassuring these areas of their life needs to be a priority.
The most important thing they need to know is that they still have two parents that love them and will take care of them.
How Nelsons can help
If you need advice in relation to any aspects of divorce proceedings, please contact a member of the team in Derby, Leicester, or Nottingham on 0800 024 1976 or via our online form.
The team will be happy to discuss your circumstances in more detail and provide you with more information about the services that we can provide along with details of our hourly rates and fixed fee services.
Contact us