Are you in a relationship with a controlling partner and about to separate? In discussions about abuse, people think of physical violence. However, coercive control [or CCB as it is more commonly known], is an equally insidious form of abuse which often flies under the radar.
While it may not leave visible scars, the psychological impact of coercive control can be devastating and long-lasting, leaving victims with low self-esteem, doubting themselves and engaging in behaviours that are unpleasant, uncomfortable and detrimental to their welfare.
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a strategic form of ongoing manipulation and intimidation that seeks to undermine a person in their day-to-day life by employing tactics like gaslighting, stalking, financial control and emotional manipulation.
Coercive controllers may dictate their victim’s friendship groups, financial expenditure, parenting or ability to work.
Controlling and coercive behaviour is particularly toxic when it leaks into undermining a parent or manipulating the parent/child relationship.
Controlling abusers will often isolate their victims from friends, family, and social networks to enhance their power and make the victim more dependent upon them. They may also try to reduce the victim’s support network to encourage reliance on the abuser.
What does Coercive and Controlling behaviour look like?
Some red flags include, but are not limited to:
- checking your phone, search and message history
- dictating what you can wear,
- whether you can wear makeup,
- who you can socialise with
- what you eat,
- what you post on social media,
- tracking your car
- accessing your WhatsApp or social media
Gaslighting often takes place. This psychological manipulation technique involves making the victim question their own reality or perceptions, leading to confusion and self-doubt.
Controlling and coercive behaviour may heighten when a separation or divorce is contemplated causing the victim to question themselves and make decisions that are not in their immediate or long-term interests.
Talk to an expert…
If you are about to separate or engage in negotiations regarding the arrangements for your children and you are worried that you are being controlled or abused in this way it is essential to take legal advice from a solicitor who understands the nuances of these behaviours and is able to properly present your case.
How Nelsons can help
Melanie Bridgen is a Partner in our Family Law team.
At Nelsons we have an award-winning team of family lawyers who are able to advise on all aspects of domestic abuse in relationship breakdown. If you need advice on any related matters, please contact Melanie or another member of the team in Derby, Nottingham or Leicester on 0800 024 1976 or via our online form.
Melanie or the team will be happy to discuss your circumstances in more detail and give you more information about the services that our family law team can provide along with details of our hourly rates and fixed fee services.
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