Summer Holiday Contact Arrangements After Separation: Planning Ahead, Not Giving In

As the summer holidays approach, many separated parents begin to feel the familiar pressure of negotiating summer holiday contact arrangements. For some, it’s a cooperative process. For others, especially where there has been an imbalance of power or conflict, it can become fraught and even distressing.

At Nelsons, we regularly advise parents navigating summer holiday contact disputes. We know how important it is for children to have safe, consistent routines and how essential it is for both parents to feel heard and respected in the process.

Don’t Be Bullied Into Unmanageable Arrangements

The summer holidays should not become a battleground. But too often, one parent may try to dominate discussions, dictating terms or insisting on impractical or unreasonable arrangements, particularly in situations where there is a history of control or coercion.
If you’re being pressured to agree to a schedule that doesn’t work for you or your children, remember this: you do not have to say yes just to keep the peace. Agreements should reflect the needs of the children, not the demands of one parent. No one should feel coerced into signing up for an arrangement that feels unsafe, unfair, or unworkable.

Focus on What’s Best for the Children (And For You)

A good summer contact schedule will take into account:

• The children’s ages, routines, and preferences
• Work and childcare commitments
• Travel plans and logistics
• The importance of both parents having quality time without conflict

Clear, written agreements (even informal ones) can reduce misunderstandings and help everyone plan ahead. But if you can’t reach agreement, don’t leave it until the last minute.

What If We Can’t Agree?

If direct communication isn’t working, or if there is too much tension to negotiate calmly, you have options:
Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) such as mediation can help you explore child-focused solutions with the support of a trained neutral professional. It’s often faster and less stressful than going to court.

If mediation isn’t safe or appropriate, particularly in cases involving abuse or coercive control, then a court application for a Child Arrangements Order may be necessary. The court’s focus will always be the best interests of the child, and orders can provide clarity and structure where none exists.

Our Advice

• Start planning early — don’t leave summer arrangements to the last minute.
• Keep communication child-focused and, where possible, in writing.
• Seek legal advice if you’re being pressured or if things are becoming unmanageable.
• Use ADR if appropriate — but don’t be afraid to apply to court where necessary.

At Nelsons, we’re here to support parents through difficult conversations, whether that’s with sensitive negotiation, legal advice, or robust representation in court. You don’t have to navigate this alone and you certainly don’t have to give in to pressure.