Helping you resolve your separation disputes
Separating from a partner or going through a divorce is never easy. It can be an emotional and practical challenge, especially when you need to agree on finances, property, or arrangements for your children. Family mediation offers a structured way to deal with these issues constructively and reduce the stress that often comes with court proceedings.
At Nelsons, we help families communicate more effectively and reach clear agreements through mediation for divorce. Our experienced mediators and family law solicitors work with couples across Derby, Leicester, and Nottingham, helping them make informed, balanced decisions that protect everyone involved.
Our focus is on clarity, not conflict; guiding you towards solutions that work in the real world. For advice or to arrange an initial discussion, call 0800 024 1976 or contact us online.
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Our family law mediator – Gayle Rowley
Gayle is a Family Mediation Council Accredited Mediator and has many years of experience and knowledge as a specialist family lawyer who can assist with the mediation process. She has a proven track record of successful resolutions. Although mediators are not able to give legal advice concerning your separation when they are acting for you as mediators, Gayle can provide you with lots of information from her wealth of experience as a family law solicitor.
She can also offer effective signposting and will indicate when it is important for you to seek advice from a solicitor to help you to progress the mediation and to give effect legally to agreements reached in mediation.
Please note that we can only advise on a Legal Aid basis for public law/care proceedings.
What is family mediation, and how does it work
Family mediation is a type of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) – a process designed to help people settle disagreements without going to court. When a relationship ends, you and your partner meet with an independent, accredited mediator who helps you discuss key issues in a calm, confidential environment.
The mediator doesn’t take sides or make judgments. Instead, they help you identify what matters most, explore possible solutions, and work towards agreements you both feel are fair. The aim is to move forward without unnecessary conflict or cost.
Typical topics discussed in mediation include:
- Division of finances, savings, and property
- Child arrangements, including living and contact schedules
- Future co-parenting plans and communication
- Any other practical issues that need to be resolved after separation
The process is flexible and completely voluntary. Once you’ve reached an understanding, your solicitor can formalise the outcome into a legally binding agreement. Mediation often gives couples more control over decisions and creates solutions that feel fair to both sides.
How mediation helps families and children
When families separate, it’s normal for communication to become strained and for disagreements to arise. Family mediation offers a practical approach to managing conversations in a structured, neutral environment. It allows both parties to focus on resolving the issues that matter most without the pressure or formality of a courtroom.
When children are involved, mediation can be particularly valuable. It gives parents the space to agree on arrangements that prioritise their children’s needs, from living arrangements and routines to schooling and holidays. Rather than decisions being imposed by a judge, you work together to create a plan that fits your family’s situation.
The process helps by:
- Encouraging clear and respectful communication between parents
- Keeping discussions focused on practical solutions rather than conflict
- Supporting consistency in your children’s day-to-day lives
- Helping parents make decisions that are sustainable in the long term
Mediation also gives parents a sense of control and empowerment. It can reduce tension, save time, and protect relationships, not just between the adults involved, but also between parents and children.
At Nelsons, our mediators understand that separation affects everyone differently. We provide calm, professional guidance to help you move from disagreement to understanding, so that your children can benefit from stability and cooperation as you all adjust to a new family dynamic.
Why choose mediation instead of court proceedings
We always explore every other avenue before suggesting taking a case to court. Court proceedings can be expensive, slow, and emotionally draining. Divorce mediation services provide a much more cooperative, private, and cost-effective alternative. It’s a space where you can make decisions together, rather than having outcomes imposed by a judge.
The main benefits include:
- Reduced cost – Mediation typically costs far less than litigation.
- Faster results – Most mediations conclude within a few sessions, allowing you to move on sooner.
- Privacy and confidentiality – All discussions remain private between you, your partner, and the mediator.
- Control and flexibility – You decide the pace, topics, and outcome.
- Better communication – The process helps you understand each other’s needs, which is especially valuable when you have children together.
While mediation isn’t right for everyone, many couples find it provides a more respectful way to end a relationship. It also tends to reduce long-term tension, helping parents cooperate more effectively after separation.
Our approach to ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution)
At Nelsons, we understand that not every dispute needs to go to court. We offer a range of ADR options, including mediation for divorce, collaborative law, Resolution Together, and support with family arbitration to help you find the most suitable way to resolve your issues.
Our approach is practical and client-focused. We listen to your concerns, explain your options clearly, and recommend a process that fits your circumstances. Whether your situation involves complex financial arrangements or child-focused discussions, our goal is always the same: to help you reach a fair outcome efficiently and with as little stress as possible.
When mediation may not be appropriate
Family mediation helps many couples reach amicable agreements that work well for everyone involved, but it isn’t always the right approach for everyone. Some situations require a different route to make sure that everyone involved is safe and properly supported.
Mediation may not be suitable if:
- There are safeguarding concerns or a risk of harm to you or your children
- One person feels unable to speak openly or safely during discussions
- There are serious power imbalances, for example, financial or emotional control
- Either party is unwilling to share financial information or engage in good faith
If any of these circumstances apply, it doesn’t mean you have no options; it simply means a different process may be needed. In these cases, our solicitors take time to listen and understand your situation before explaining the most appropriate next steps.
At Nelsons, our priority is your well-being and peace of mind. We’ll always be honest about whether mediation is right for you and make sure you feel supported, informed, and protected, whatever approach you choose.
Why work with us
When you choose family mediation with us, you’ll be working with an experienced team that understands the challenges of separation. We focus on helping you find clear, fair outcomes that allow everyone involved to move forward with confidence.
We’ll explain every stage of the process in plain language and make sure you always understand your options. Throughout mediation, our priority is to help you reach practical agreements that work in the real world. We aim to:
- Create an environment where discussions stay respectful and solutions-focused
- Keep the process clear, structured, and manageable for everyone
- Make sure any agreements reached are fair and legally sound
- Support you in finding outcomes that meet your needs and those of your family
Our goal is simple: to help you reduce conflict, save time and costs, and find a way forward that feels constructive and fair. If you’d like to find out more about how family mediation could help you, please get in touch with us. You can call us on 0800 024 1976 to speak to a member of our team, or complete our online enquiry form, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
Family and divorce mediation referral forms
Our expert team of family law solicitors includes:
Resolution Accredited Specialists- Law Society Family Panel & Advanced Family Panel members
- Law Society Children Panel Members
Our expertise in family law is also recognised by the independent directories, The Legal 500 and Chambers and Partners.
If you are considering separation or divorce and want to explore a more amicable and efficient solution through mediation, please contact us today on 0800 024 1976 or via our online enquiry form.
Our expert team is here to help you navigate this challenging time with compassion and expertise.
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Family Mediation FAQS
Below, we have answered some frequently asked questions concerning family mediation
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What is mediation?
Mediation allows you and your ex-partner to work out solutions to the problems you are facing in a safe, calm and supported environment. It is a much cheaper and less time-consuming process compared to Solicitor-led negotiations and/or Court proceedings.
During mediation, a trained and impartial mediator will help you to identify the key issues of your separation and will then try to help you both find a solution to these issues through face-to-face discussions or by video link.
The mediator does not give legal advice in favour of either party but both can have access to legal advice away from the mediation sessions. Additionally, all our mediators are highly experienced family law solicitors and will be able to provide you with lots of information to help you both achieve a resolution as soon as possible. Agreements reached during mediation can be made legally binding and the mediator will be able to guide you as to what needs to be done to ensure this.
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Is mediation compulsory?
In April 2014, it became compulsory for separating couples in England and Wales to consider mediation before issuing divorce proceedings. Couples have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before they can apply for a Court order to settle disputes over parenting, finance and property.
There are exceptions where there may have been serious domestic violence in the relationship or child protection issues, in which case, exemptions will apply. Otherwise, attendance is necessary to find out about mediation as an option although you cannot be forced to mediate.
Family mediation is a voluntary process for separating couples. If your case is considered suitable for mediation by the mediator after they have met you and your ex, you must both agree to mediate then a first joint mediation session is arranged that usually lasts about an hour and a half.
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The type of issues mediation can resolve during a divorce
You and your ex may need to reach an agreement about finances on separation or divorce, such as:
- Whether or how income should be shared;
- How to split capital;
- Whether the family home should be sold;
- Whether sharing pensions is appropriate; and
- How to deal with a family business.
The list is very broad. If you have children, family mediation can prioritise meetings that help you to reach an agreement about their future care arrangements or any problems that may be arising with co-parenting since separation.
There can be more complex issues or personal matters that are important to you both where you need to reach understandings and agreement all of which can be dealt with in family mediation. The mediation can be flexible and tailored to your case and needs and what is important to you and your ex.
Even issues such as who should have care of the family pet after separation or possession of sentimental household contents can be agenda items. Sometimes, the issues that need to be resolved only take one session. More commonly, it will involve between three and five sessions depending on the number of issues and the nature of the dispute.
Mediation can be an option for you at any time in the future post-separation, for example, you may just require mediation for a discreet issue, for example, which school the children should attend.
Mediation is a confidential process, allowing you and your ex to have open and frank discussions with each other, without fear that you will be bound by the solutions that either of you may propose before a full agreement is reached.
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What are the benefits of family mediation?
The main benefits of family mediation are:
- It allows both parties to remain in control of what decisions are made for themselves, and, if applicable, their children. Court proceedings, however, could result in the Court making an order that both parties would be bound by, and neither could be entirely happy with.
- It offers a more affordable alternative to resolving the issues. The costs of mediation are generally split between the parties rather than each having to fund their own legal fees if they were to each appoint solicitors.
- Mediation can also provide a much quicker way for the issues to be resolved rather than protracted negotiations via solicitors or Court proceedings which can last for months, or in some cases, even years.
- The informal nature of family meditation, and the fact that whatever is discussed in mediation cannot be used in any subsequent Court proceedings, can provide a less stressful platform for the parties to attempt to reach mutually acceptable proposals for themselves and their children.
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How long does family mediation usually take?
The length of mediation varies depending on the complexity of your situation and how well you and your ex-partner can work together. Typically, it can take between three to five sessions, each lasting about 90 minutes.
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How much does family mediation cost?
Costs can vary depending on the mediator and the complexity of your case. Some mediators offer a fixed fee, while others charge by the hour.
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Is what we say in mediation confidential?
Yes, mediation sessions are confidential. The mediator cannot disclose information from your sessions without both parties’ consent, except in very specific circumstances (e.g., if there’s a risk of harm to a child).
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Can I bring a solicitor to mediation sessions?
While it’s not common to have solicitors present during mediation sessions, you can consult with a solicitor between sessions for legal advice. Some mediators offer a model where solicitors can be present for part or all of the mediation process.
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What happens if we can't reach an agreement through mediation?
If you can’t reach an agreement, you may need to go to Court. However, even partial agreements made during mediation can help narrow the issues that need to be decided by a Judge, potentially saving time and money.
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Is mediation legally binding?
Agreements reached in mediation are not automatically legally binding. However, you can ask a solicitor to draft a consent order based on your mediation agreement, which can then be approved by a Court to make it legally binding.
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Can mediation help with child arrangements?
Yes, mediation can be very effective for working out child arrangements, including where children will live, contact schedules, and how to handle holidays and special occasions.
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How does divorce mediation differ from family mediation?
Divorce mediation is a type of family mediation specifically focused on issues related to divorce, such as division of assets, financial settlements, and arrangements for children. The process is similar, but the topics covered are specific to ending a marriage.
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