Domestic abuse does not discriminate. It can occur in any family, regardless of gender, background, or parental role. Yet, within private children law proceedings, assumptions about “who the victim is” and “who the perpetrator is” can sometimes distort the fact‑finding process. The recent High Court judgment in Re E (A Child) (Complex Fact‑Finding: Allegations of Domestic Abuse and Alienating Behaviours) [2025] EWFC 422 brings this issue sharply into focus and serves as a vital reminder of the need for gender neutrality is essential when evaluating allegations of abuse.
1. What Re E tells us about domestic abuse between parents
Re E followed one of the longest and most complex private‑law fact‑finding hearings ever recorded. The case included overlapping allegations: sexual abuse, coercive and controlling behaviour, emotional abuse, and allegations of severe alienating behaviours. After a comprehensive examination of the evidence, the Court concluded that:
- The children had been subjected to severe alienating behaviours by the mother, and
- The father had been subjected to significant emotional abuse by the mother,
- No findings of domestic abuse were made against the father.
These conclusions are drawn directly from the reported summary of the case.
This outcome is crucial. It challenges societal stereotypes that domestic abuse in family court proceedings is typically perpetrated by fathers against mothers. While this is often the pattern, Re E demonstrates that abuse can be perpetrated by either parent—and that assumptions based on gender risk clouding judicial evaluation.
2. Why gender neutrality in domestic abuse fact‑finding matters
The Family Court’s approach must remain firmly anchored in the evidence and guided by the principles set out in authorities such as Re H‑N and Practice Direction 12J, which emphasise the need to identify patterns of behaviour rather than relying on isolated incidents or preconceptions.
Gender neutrality is essential for several reasons:
- Ensuring fairness to both parents
Parties must be assessed on the facts, not on gender‑based assumptions. If professionals presume a parent cannot be a victim—or cannot be a perpetrator—important evidence may be overlooked or dismissed. - Protecting children from all forms of harm
Children experience domestic abuse indirectly and directly. Courts must accurately identify the true source of harm to craft safe and appropriate child‑arrangements orders. - Supporting effective safeguarding
A gender‑neutral approach ensures safeguarding measures—whether protective injunctions, supervised contact, or therapeutic interventions—are targeted where they are genuinely needed.
3. Unpacking emotional abuse and alienation through a gender‑neutral lens
In Re E, the Court found the father had been subjected to emotional abuse. This included behaviours that caused significant distress and unfairly disrupted his relationship with the children. The Court also found the children were alienated from him as a result of the mother’s conduct.
Alienating behaviours are not tied to gender—they are tied to patterns of control, manipulation, and emotional harm. Similarly, emotional abuse often involves coercion, isolation, or the undermining of a partner’s relationship with their child. Recognising this helps legal practitioners resist unhelpful gendered narratives and instead focus on:
- the impact on the child
- the behaviour itself
- whether there is evidence of a pattern over time
- the risk posed by those behaviours to the child’s welfare
4. The Court’s role: evidence over assumption
The judgment in Re E reiterates that findings must be firmly supported by admissible evidence, in line with the burden and standard of proof that apply in family law.
The Family Court cannot attribute blame based on:
- stereotypes
- perceived typical gender dynamics
- assumptions about who “usually” abuses whom
Instead, judges must analyse the evidence holistically and rigorously. The Court in Re E did precisely that, unpicking a highly complex factual matrix without allowing gendered expectations to skew its conclusions.
5. What this means for parents and practitioners
For parents
If you are experiencing abuse—regardless of whether you are a mother or a father—your experiences matter. The court will consider them seriously when supported by relevant evidence.
For practitioners
We must continue to:
- approach allegations with an open mind
- test evidence objectively
- avoid gender‑based presumptions
- ensure clients understand how the court assesses credibility and patterns of behaviour
Gender neutrality in domestic abuse is not about denying the well‑documented gendered patterns of abuse. Instead, it is about ensuring every case is judged on its own facts, so the court can protect children and uphold fairness.
How can we help?
Rina Mistry is a Legal Director in our Family Law team, advising on a wide range of family law work, and in particular specialising in private children law, international family matters, and domestic abuse.
If you need any advice concerning the gender neutrality in domestic abuse and other subjects discussed above, please contact us and we will be happy to discuss your circumstances in more detail and give you more information about the services that our solicitors can provide, along with details of our hourly rates.
For more information or advice, please call Rina or another member of our team in Derby, Leicester, or Nottingham on 0808 258 0461 or contact us via our online form.
Contact usIf this article relates to a specific case/cases, please note that the facts of this case/cases are correct at the time of writing.