We’ve reached that time of the year again of “out with the old and in with the new”. Well intended resolutions have been made in relation to exercise, diet, alcohol and caffeine consumption.
The media often report on the alleged January rush to the divorce Courts and often refer to today as being ‘Divorce Day’. For some people Christmas seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. For better or worse, the numbers suggest that ‘divorce month’ in January is real.
Why is January divorce month?
There are a multitude of reasons why people wait until January. It is often the case that one person may be struggling with the marriage before the holiday season. If they have children, the holidays are supposed to be a magical time, so they commit to giving the kids one last happy holiday as a family. By January, if it’s still not working, they know it’s time to move on.
Unhappy spouses assess their situation and say to themselves:
“I just can’t take another year like this”.
The holidays are also a time when emotions run high and if you are unhappy or angry in your marriage, the holidays may push those feelings to the breaking point.
But it’s not all doom and gloom. The end of a marriage also means the start of a new life chapter. If you have struggled during the previous year then to come to terms with your separation, or are starting a year newly separated, you may be wondering what the New Year has in store for you. Is it possible to even think that when one door closes, another may open?
Communicate and resolve separation disputes
For divorcing and divorced couples, one of the best New Year resolutions you can make is to resolve conflict with your ex-spouse or partner. Dealing with a difficult ex-partner can be very discouraging and frustrating. Attempts to foster a working relationship for the sake of the children may prove a thankless task.
The rewards for you and your children can be significant. What parents do during and after a separation or divorce (e.g. how they parent, how they handle their emotions, how they relate to each other and work together) is the key to their children’s resilience in coping with their parent’s separation or divorce. Research has shown that it is not the divorce but the way you divorce that impacts children.
Good communication is especially important for parents who want to provide the most ideal transition for their children and keep their family intact. One way to achieve favourable communication is to dedicate yourself to co-parenting and the compromises that come with forming a healthy relationship with your ex-spouse.
Stop looking back and start looking forward!
How Nelsons can help
The team will be happy to discuss your circumstances in more detail and provide you with more information about the services that we can provide.